Iâ€™m 49, divorced plus in brand brand new relationship (8 months) Progressing nicely and heâ€™s lovely but I experience extreme relationship anxiety that is really getting even even even worse longer Iâ€™m seeing him. Terrified from it no longer working down, have problems with low self confidence and a huge eleme personallynt of me seems it might be easier in order to end things now to stop myself getting harmed. An element of the presssing problem is we reside over one hour or more aside so weekends have to be prepared and spontaneous reunions maybe maybe not feasible. We have a great time but he finds it impossible to sleep in the same bed as me (he claims he gets restless legs) so we end up sleeping apart and I miss the closeness and canâ€™t sleep for worrying when we are together. Because of the time weâ€™ve invested two nights together Iâ€™m utterly exhausted and invested and feel really down between visits. We’ve mentioned residing together however in a â€œcouple of yearsâ€ and we really donâ€™t discover how Iâ€™ll cope with the interim duration. We both have demanding jobs and older children at home so lots to the office around. We canâ€™t help experiencing that i will be feeling less anxious at this point nevertheless the stress is perhaps all consuming and Iâ€™m miserable for a lot of the right time Iâ€™m maybe not with him. I’m sure this is certainlynâ€™t a appealing quality but We canâ€™t appear to shake it well.
In the event that anxiety of stress is causing you to be exhausted after hanging out together, i am struggling to see any delighted future for you tbh.
I am a small unsure concerning the legs that are restless. I’ve this occasionally, but I would personally state it has got the prospective to bother DH significantly more than me personally. I am wondering if you should be subtly being held at supply’s length right right here? In which particular case, that is why you feel a bit ‘off’ about any of it.
we’ve talked in bed with me (or to be more accurate has happened with anyone other than his wife about it and he says thereâ€™s nothing wrong but has also observed this is a phenomenon that only happens when heâ€™s . divided 3 years ago) Heâ€™s got a more protected accessory style it a problem than me and apparently doesnâ€™t really consider. And, yes. the stress is crippling but i understand much would be to do with my very own history/past as opposed to what heâ€™s doing. Heâ€™s generally attentive, type, communicative, thoughtful. if only a little detached. Iâ€™ve told him just a little about just exactly how Iâ€™m feeling and he did react well but if We told him your whole truth heâ€™d think Iâ€™m positively mental and Iâ€™m worried about sounding as too needy.
Heâ€™s significantly detached and you also seem to have an anxious attachment design. Unfortunately those two designs don’t work nicely together it means heâ€™s losing interest or not as committed as you will always question or worry or read into his words/actions and think.
Heâ€™s significantly detached and you also appear to have an anxious accessory design. Regrettably those two styles usually do not work very well together it means heâ€™s losing interest or not as committed as you will always question or worry or read into his words/actions and think.
This. Often two different people is lovely and great simply not suitable. It really is rubbish but it is reality of life i am afraid. This mixture of accessory requirements is normally a recipe for anxiety and stress.
I do not think the sleep thing means such a thing apart from he would like to rest. Possibly it really is a courteous reason that you snore or move too much because he doesn’t want to tell you. Many people are extremely light sleepers.
In the place of worrying all about whether or perhaps not the relationship could work, give attention to doing things on your own – workout, classes on the web, self enhancement. Discover something good to spotlight as soon as he’s with you, simply have some fun and relish the time.
Christ this does not seem like a barrel that is huge of does it?
No clue in regards to the restless feet thing – maybe simply just simply take that at face value.
You state you have been together 8 months – so all through lockdown? I’dn’t be speaking about residing together at this time .. this relationship is apparently causing you more anxiety than maybe maybe perhaps not – you do not need me personally to inform you that after a relationship is right, there’s none for this hand wringing and angst
You’ll want to end it in the event that you truly feel since bad as you state – you are going to push him away in the long run anyhow in the event that you keep on. Or provide your self some kind of breakdown. It might be much more sensible to focus in your house and young ones and get your self to a much better spot mentally before considering dating
That you don’t feel protected in this relationship and that is sufficient to get rid of it. Can someone really see your self holding on similar to this for the next year or two? Until you dial right back the thoughts and see this as just one thing fun/casual?